bret_easton_ellis – blackandwhiteandcolours

It stood perfectly still

I concentrated on the flat asphalt ribbon

I had to figure out how I got to this point – and why I was here

She didn’t believe anything I told her

I closed my eyes again

I stared helplessly

And I was suddenly, inexplicably content

There was suddenly the sense that the party was verging out of control

The party was my idea

No one else wanted me

After a while you learn that everything stops

Where I went I would not go back

I felt as if I had been hijacked

And I was frank and I was caring

I was relaxed and serene and focused

Everything I did was innocent and full of love

And I watched with a mixture of fear and fascination

I was dreaming about myself

I was innocent

I moved on

Did it matter?

But they relented

I was a mystery, an enigma, and that was what mattered

I’m not listening to anything

We thought it might work

I’m suddenly gripping the iron railing

The icy air so cold it shimmers

I don’t want to think of where she might be at this moment

Yeah, I think it’s real too

I’m sitting in the back seat drunk and I shrug

But the words just don’t come out

I tell myself that it really wasn’t that bad last night